"I've always dreamed of being an old philosopher. So far I've achieved one out of two!"

Gerry Reid's Really Serious and Important Legal Stuff Page

What legal phrase can you add?

Since my pages are designed to challenge and stimulate your thinking, any creative, motivating, inspiring, or other life-changing thoughts and actions resulting from visiting here are the sole responsibility of the thinker. Therefore, be aware (we need more wares in this unaware world) of the following:

Easy Find Version (Commonly known as the Common Sense Approach, but what lawyer in his/her right mind would do such a thing?)

Congressional Member or Lawyer Version: 

This supersedes all previous notices. Drop in any mailbox. Use only as directed. Sold only as a set. Not available at all locations. You must be present to win. Postage will be paid by addressee. Not the Beatles. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Package sold by weight, not volume. Subject to CAB approval. Subject to change without notice. Your canceled check is your receipt. List each check separately by bank number. No Canadian coins. No Canadian coins. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. List was current at time of printing. Do not disturb. Past performance does not guarantee future performance. Beware of dog. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Keep this door closed at all times. May cause drowsiness. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. When you fax it, it's ours. One size fits all. No solicitors. Simulated picture. Times approximate. Unix is a registered trademark.. Shading within a garment may occur. Put tab A1 into slot C4, fold, do not glue. No passes accepted for this engagement. Rebate may affect actual price. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Not responsible for typographical errors. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. See label for sequence. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not recommended for children. See label for sequence. Unable to forward. Call toll free number before digging. Keep away from fire or flames. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Place stamp here. Check here if tax deductible. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Colors may, in time, fade. Dealer participates in rebate. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Prices higher in Alaska and Hawaii. Toner not included. Batteries not included. Do not ingest. This product is meant for educational purposes only. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. You break it, you by it. List at least two alternate dates. For a limited time only. Form one line. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. At participating locations only. Many suitcases look alike. Your mileage may vary. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No purchase necessary. No shirt, no shoes, no service. This is not an offer to sell securities. Driver does not carry cash. Restaurant package, not for resale. Price does not include taxes. Take a number for faster service. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. As seen on TV. Professional diver on a closed course. Participating locations only. All models over 18 years of age. No serviceable parts inside. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. One rebate per household. If condition persists, consult your physician. Penalty for private use. Keep cool; process promptly. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Void where prohibited. Do not put the base of this ladder on frozen manure. Some assembly required. Replace with same type. Send stamped self addressed envelop for winners list. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Contents may settle during shipment. Do not shake vigorously. Some equipment shown is optional. Use other side for additional listings. Do not stamp. Obey signs - State law. Watch your step. Hang onto strap while standing. Watch for streetcars while turning. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Edited for television. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Employees and their families are not eligible. Don't even think about parking here. Prerecorded for this time zone. Line forms to the right. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not try this at home; these are trained professionals. Booths for two or more. No returns unless defective. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No returns unless defective. Remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. First pull up, then pull down. For recreational use only. For off-road use only. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. For office use only. Approved for veterans. No other warranty expressed or implied. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Slippery when wet. Post office will not deliver without postage. Avoid contact with skin. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Sign here without admitting guilt. Do not write below this line. Sanitized for your protection. Put on your own mask before assisting children.

THIS DOCUMENT PROVIDES INFORMATION ONLY AND THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS DOCUMENT IS PROVIDED 'AS IS' WITHOUT PROVISION, WARRANTY, OR ANY KIND OF STUFF LIKE THAT , EITHER EXPRESS, DEDUCED, OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE SEEMINGLY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF USABILITY, UNDERSTANDABILITY, APPLICABILITY,  MERCHANTABILITY, OR FITNESS FOR A SPECIFIC OR PARTICULAR PURPOSE, IN GENERAL OR NOT, AND IS FREE FROM INFRINGEMENT AND/OR INTELLIGENT AND REASONABLE INTERPRETATION BY THE PUBLIC OR PRIVATE SECTOR OR INDIVIDUALS ENCOUNTERING IT. SO THERE! 

What legal phrase can you add?

Easy Find Version:

  • Add toner.
  • All models over 18 years of age.
  • Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
  • Apply only to affected area.
  • Approved for veterans.
  • As seen on TV.
  • At participating locations only.
  • Avoid contact with skin.
  • Batteries not included.
  • Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
  • Beware of dog.
  • Booths for two or more.
  • Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
  • Call toll free number before digging.
  • Check here if tax deductible.
  • Colors may, in time, fade.
  • Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
  • Contents may settle during shipment.
  • Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
  • Dealer participates in rebate.
  • Do not write below this line.
  • Do not ingest.
  • Do not try this at home; these are trained professionals.
  • Do not stamp.
  • Do not put the base of this ladder on frozen manure.
  • Do not disturb.
  • Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
  • Do not shake vigorously.
  • Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
  • Don't even think about parking here.
  • Driver does not carry cash.
  • Drop in any mailbox.
  • Edited for television.
  • Employees and their families are not eligible.
  • Falling rock.
  • First pull up, then pull down.
  • For a limited time only.
  • For office use only.
  • For off-road use only.
  • For recreational use only.
  • Form one line.
  • Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
  • Hang onto strap while standing.
  • If condition persists, consult your physician.
  • Keep cool; process promptly.
  • Keep away from fire or flames.
  • Keep this door closed at all times.
  • Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
  • Line forms to the right.
  • List at least two alternate dates.
  • List was current at time of printing.
  • List each check separately by bank number.
  • Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
  • Many suitcases look alike.
  • May be too intense for some viewers.
  • May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities.
  • No passes accepted for this engagement.
  • No alcohol, dogs or horses.
  • No solicitors.
  • No returns unless defective.
  • No serviceable parts inside.
  • No other warranty expressed or implied.
  • No Canadian coins.
  • No shirt, no shoes, no service.
  • No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
  • No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
  • No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
  • No purchase necessary.
  • Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
  • Not recommended for children.
  • Not responsible for typographical errors.
  • Not the Beatles.
  • Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
  • Not available at all locations.
  • Obey signs. State law
  • Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
  • One size fits all.
  • One rebate per household.
  • Out to lunch.
  • Package sold by weight, not volume.
  • Participating locations only.
  • Penalty for private use.
  • Place stamp here.
  • Post office will not deliver without postage.
  • Postage will be paid by addressee.
  • Prerecorded for this time zone.
  • Price does not include taxes.
  • Prices higher in Alaska and Hawaii.
  • Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
  • Professional diver on a closed course.
  • Put on your own mask before assisting children
  • Rebate may affect actual price.
  • Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
  • Remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
  • Replace with same type.
  • Reproduction strictly prohibited.
  • Restaurant package, not for resale.
  • Return to sender, no forwarding order on file
  • Sanitized for your protection.
  • See label for sequence.
  • Shading within a garment may occur.
  • Sign here without admitting guilt.
  • Simulated picture.
  • Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
  • Slippery when wet.
  • Sold only as a set.
  • Some equipment shown is optional.
  • Some assembly required.
  • Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
  • Subject to change without notice.
  • Subject to CAB approval.
  • Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
  • Take a number for faster service.
  • This is not an offer to sell securities.
  • This product is meant for educational purposes only.
  • This supersedes all previous notices.
  • Times approximate.
  • Unable to forward.
  • Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer.
  • Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
  • Use only in a well-ventilated area.
  • Use other side for additional listings.
  • Use only as directed.
  • Void where prohibited.
  • Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel.
  • Watch for streetcars while turning.
  • Watch your step.
  • We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
  • We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
  • When you fax it, it's ours.
  • You break it, you by it.
  • You must be present to win.
  • Your mileage may vary.
  • Your canceled check is your receipt.

Add your favorite legal phrase!

Note: Submissions become the property of Gerry Reid. Judge's decisions are final. Multiple entries accepted. No prizes offered. Entries will be posted at my discretion.