"I've always dreamed of being an old philosopher. So far I've achieved one out of two!"

Commands of Mom and God

I hate it when people "should" on me!

Many times the "shoulds" and "should nots" we believe in are things said by our parents, especially mom. Next to God's rules, mom's rules are the most interesting, powerful and fear-instilling philosophies we ever learn.

Send me an e-mail and tell me what commands your mom gave to you!

Read on, enjoy, and please contribute!

To borrow a phrase from Forrest Gump,

"Momma always said . . .

  • Don't run with [fill in the blank]. You could fall and put your eye out!
  • Don't eat so many carbohydrates! You'll wear out your pancreas!
  • Lick you calf right the first time and you will not have to lick it over.
  • That's your opinion and your stuck with it!
  • It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
  • Girls just don't do things like that. (Not the same as "Good girls don't do that." which also came my way.)
  • Marry a man ten years older than yourself. That way you'll always be the younger woman.
  • If God wanted you to have holes in your ears he would have put them there.
  • I wish it - no, I command it!
  • My will takes the place of reason.
  • Children who play with fire wet the bed.
  • Pretty is as pretty does.
  • Never go to bed mad at your partner or your children.
  • If you don't help me sweep the floor, at least don't dirty the floor!
  • To late-sleeping teenagers: "If you don't eat breakfast before lunchtime you won't get any supper!"
  • By the yard it's hard, by the inch it's a cinch.
  • Wash your hands - Both sides!
  • Rely on yourself.
  • "I'm going to take away your toys! Is that what you want?"
  • Be careful when you cross the road - Look BOTH ways!
  • When God's not in charge, your father is. I've made that very clear to them both.
  • Eat all your vegetables, it will put hair on your chest. (However, she never told me what caused the hair on my back.)
  • Clean your plate. There are children in China who are starving!
  • The use of my full legal name means "I'm in trouble!"
  • Don't do as I do, do as I tell you!
  • Wait till your father gets home!
  • Wear clean underwear. You never know when you'll be in an accident.
  • Good children are seen but not heard.
  • If God wanted you to be covered in mud he would have made you a pig!
  • There is so much dirt in your ear there are carrots growing in there!
  • Cleanliness is next to godliness.
  • Don't put money or keys in your mouth. You don't know where it has been.
  • People who are worth knowing, know their worth.
  • If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
  • To get ahead in life you must contribute to others.
  • Pay for what you take.
  • Take what you want, but you must eat it all.
  • There will be no dessert until your plate is clean.
  • Why? Because I'm you're mother, that's why!
  • That is just the way God made it.