"I've always dreamed of being an old philosopher. So far I've achieved one out of two!"

(According to the person who sent it to me . . . )

"I've learned that . . .

. . . you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
. . . no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
. . . it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
. . . you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
. . . it's taking me a long time to sleep with the person I want.
. . . you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.
. . . either you control your attitude or you will be offered medication.
. . . money is a great substitute for character.
. . . my best friend and I can do anything except see "Everest" at the museum of science.
. . . sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
. . . sometimes when I'm angry I have PMS, God help all in my vicinity.
. . . true friendship continues to grow, until you get your stuff back in the mail with no note.
. . . your family won't always be there for you. Unless, of course, you win the lottery.
. . . no matter how good a guy is, he'll eventually revert.
. . . no matter how badly your heart is broken, therapy is still expensive.
. . . our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for all lost or stolen articles while on the premises.
. . . we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
. . . two people can screw the exact same person and compare notes.
. . . no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
. . . overzealous customs agents can change your life in a matter of hours.
. . . even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the door.
. . . the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.