"I've always dreamed of being an old philosopher. So far I've achieved one out of two!"

'Twas the Night Before Y2K

by Anonymous, modified by Gerry Reid.
 
(When I received this poem via e-mail it was obviously
written by someone outside the IT industry. It had great 
structure and sequence, but lacked IT savvy. I extensively
modified it. In my humble and biased opinion, the
following is much better than the original. )

'Twas the night before Y2K,
And all through the nation
We awaited "The Bug,"
The millennium sensation.

The chips were replaced
In computers with care,
In hopes that ol' Bugsy
Wouldn't stop there.

Some I.T. Consultants
Were snug in their beds
Others had visions
Of jail in their heads.

And Ma with her PC,
And I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net
And kicked back with a snack.

When over the server,
There arose such a clatter,
I called Mister Gates
To see what was the matter.

But he was in court,
So I flew like a flash
Off to my bank
To withdraw all my cash.

I booted my system,
And what did I see?
The date on the screen,
Said, "1983!"

The image it morphed
Into one ugly mug,
And, I knew it must be
The Y2K Bug!

His image downloaded
In no time at all,
And he whistled and shouted,
"Let all systems fall!

Go Intel! Go Gateway!
Now HP! Big Blue!
Everything Compaq,
And Pentium too!

Air traffic control
For New Year’s Eve flights,
All power, and water,
And all traffic lights.

All processors big,
All processors small,
Crash away! Crash away!
Crash away all!"

I though to myself,
"Let’s get out of town!"
When out through the modem,
He came with a bound.

He was covered with bits,
And there, slung on his back,
Was a sack full of virus,
Prepared to attack.

His L.E.D.’s, how they twinkled!
His modulation, how merry!
But, as midnight approached,
Things soon became scary.

His look turned to evil,
As I read, "Sectors missing,"
And that sack filled with virus
Began growling and hissing.

He morphed once again
Into problems galore,
But I laughed when he frowned
At "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

A blink of his icon,
And the twist of his head
Soon gave me to know
A feeling of dread.

He spoke only half-words,
As he continued to work,
He changed all the clocks,
And said, "Now, who’s the jerk?"

My mouse began clicking,
And he gave me a wink
As all things electronic
Soon went on the blink.

He exited my system,
To the next node on line,
He caused such disruption,
Could this be a sign?

And I heard him exclaim,
As he flashed me his butt,
"Happy Y2K to all,
I hope you’re backed up!"



The original:
Twas the night before Y2K,
and all through the nation
we awaited The Bug,
the Millennium sensation.

The chips were replaced
in computers with care,
in hopes that ol' Bugsy
wouldn't stop there.

While some folks could think
they were snug in their beds
others had visions
of dread in their heads.

And Ma with her PC,
and I with my Mac
had just logged on the Net
and kicked back with a snack.

When over the server,
there arose such a clatter
I called Mister Gates
to see what was the matter.

But he was away,
so I flew like a flash
off to my bank
to withdraw all my cash.

When what with my wandering eyes
should I see?
my good old Mac
looked sick to me.

The hack of all hackers
was looking so smug,
I knew that it must be
the Y2K Bug!
His image downloaded
in no time at all,
he whistled and shouted,
let all systems fall!

Go Intel! Go Gateway!
now HP! Big Blue!
everything Compaq,
and Pentium too!

All processors big,
all processors small,
crash away! crash away!
crash away all!

All the controls
that planes need for their flights
all microwaves, trains
and all traffic lights.

As I drew in my breath
and was turning around,
out through the modem,
he came with a bound.

He was covered with fur,
and slung on his back
was a sackful of virus,
set for attack.

His eyes-how they twinkled!
His dimples-how merry!
As midnight approached, though
Things soon became scary.
He had a broad little face
and a round little belly,
and his sack filled with virus
quivered like jelly.

He was chubby and plump,
perpetually grinning,
and I laughed when I saw him
though my hard drive stopped spinning.

A wink of his eye,
and a twist of his head,
soon gave me to know
a new feeling of dread.

He spoke not a word,
but went straight to his work,
he changed all the clocks,
then turned with a jerk.

With a twitch of his nose,
and a quick little wink,
all things electronic
soon went on the blink.

He zoomed from my system,
to the next folks on line,
he caused such a disruption,
could this be a sign?

Then I heard him exclaim,
with a loud, hearty shout,
happy Y2K to you all,
what a heck of a night!